Understand the same cause of mental cold ...

Very important here, and the hierarchy of family relationships. If the parents are treated with respect for each other, their parents, do not emit continuously for someone from the children ("you're a senior - and then you head"), and each the family has the right to defend their own views, then the problem of "strong - weak" is most often not worth it. If the relations are based on the principle of "might is right and" it is not surprising that the child is already practically from the cradle adopts a similar style of communication . Many parents tend to regard such behavior of children as a manifestation of abnormal "abnormal" aggressiveness. And often it happens in families where the children are expected absolute obedience and respect for rules of conduct; them quite severely punished for transgressions. or where the family exists emotional instability, children are often witnesses to or participants in a "showdown" adults where they are often and unfairly punished "under the hot hand." In such cases, unable to respond to the actions of their elders, to change their attitude toward themselves, the child directs the aggression in the more defenseless objects. It may be younger brothers or sisters, just weaker or younger children. It may be relatives who have family in a lower social status - such as grandparents. Sometimes aggression can apply to animals, plants, toys and other inanimate subjects. It is known that these children more frequently and severely punished, assuming that the punishment should "teach" a child how to behave. However, such methods provide only a temporary effect. The effect of punishment is valid only until such time as a child feels on himself " punishing hand. "Once out of the reach of his parents, he starts feeling of impunity with respect to the weaker. And if the parents are not only for children but also among themselves often emotional coldness, harshness, impatience and aggressiveness, the child in his behavior only copies their communication style. However, it seems, "result" of education often occurs in families where punishment is practically not used, but children grow up in an atmosphere bezemotsionalnosti, which encourages only "good deeds". The child is praised only for what he has done something useful, something learned: lessons learned, and washed the dishes, walk the dog ... he is growing as if in a closed area of ??spiritual emptiness, without receiving the approval of parents, not feeling that love him simply for what it is. As shown Recent studies, such alienated relations provoke aggressive behavior in children even more than penalties. the punishment kids at heart can cope with, agree that they deserved. Understand the cause of peace as cold little man could never. That is why noticing disturbing signs in the child's behavior, parents should first ask ourselves: what is my attitude to the child gives such results? What can I change myself to my baby felt more loved, more secure, and began to give others the love and protection, not aggression and humiliation? BIREVA Anna, a psychologist

13 kinds of lies that make life easier

"This was the most wonderful night of my life!" - are you whispering in your ear favorite.