A child who knows that his grandfather ...

A child can ask a question or to respond to a thoughtful silence and come back to after some time, asking lots of questions. Must at all times to monitor, it is clear enough what you say, because children are sometimes confused heard. Because children learn through repetition, it may be necessary to repeat the questions again and again to hear the answer. Time passes, and children gain a new experience that requires further clarification, and for them is extremely important to the feeling that someone shares their thoughts and feelings. Must be time for the child to fully understand the discrepancy between his death and emotional distress associated with it. A child who knows that his grandfather Alexander died may still ask why Aunt Marina weeps. He needs to answer: "Auntie Marina crying because she was hard, that his grandfather Alexander died. She misses him very much. We always feel sad when someone whom we cared for, is dying." There are also times when we find it hard to fathom what the kids ask us. For example, the question that the apparent indifference can greatly hurt us, can actually be asking the child about appeasement. So, the question: "When you die?" - It is important to hear as a result of the fact that the kid understands death as something that necessarily takes place over time, and at the same time did not quite understand what death is - it's the end. A child can imagine that death means separation, and separation from parents. The opportunity to stay without worries scares him. Children need to reassure them real and practical concern for them. The child is often very difficult to find the right words to name what his worries. And the true content of his concerns, we must clarify for themselves, before answering his question. This can be done by asking him questions like: "Are you worried that I will not be here to take care of you?". If this is the case, then a soothing and appropriate response can be, for example, this: "I'm not going to die a long time. I expect to be here and take care of you as long as you're going to need me, but if Mom or Dad would die, there are many people who take care of you. "There is Aunt Lena and Uncle Vanya, and grandmother." Another problem stems from the fact that children form misconceptions about death. Dr. R. Fulton Grollman'a character of the book emphasizes that some children when they hear such statements about the adult's death as "eternal sleep," "eternal peace", mix death and sleep. As a result of the substitution of a child can begin to be afraid to go to sleep or nap. Similarly, if children are told that someone who died "went away", even a brief separation may disturb them. It is therefore important to avoid words like "dream", "peace", "withdrawal" when you talk with your child about death. Telling children that sickness was the cause of death, you can also scare them. Preschoolers do not know the difference between temporary and fatal illness, and then even slight malaise may cause unnecessary anxiety.