That bright love life, which ...

That bright love life, which dreamed of for years spent in marriage, was only partially accessible, and for many unattainable altogether. The majority of divorced within a year and a half after the start of the "free" life decreases the interest in this side of it. Holiday, they dream of is impossible. And when that idea finally penetrated the consciousness, when the sum a realistic assessment of women - there is a depression. Parallel is more clear, calm assessment of a previous marriage. In memory float the most joyful, the brightest episodes of the period of marriage. Living alone can not everyone from this period is collected and mental fatigue from an independent bachelor life. Parting with his family, the man wanted to lose or at least reduce the burden of care and responsibility for the family to become more free. But after several weeks of intoxication of freedom, most divorcees are beginning to realize that living alone is not as easy as it seemed to many years of marriage. For most men there are many internal "destructive" impulses - the desire to drink "beyond reasonable" excessive eating, more time to give entertainment. Women and pulses such smaller, and as there are better organized, more social, they are much more successful than suppress them. In a married couple they are social, organizing principle in helping a partner deal with these impulses, send them back on track. Responsibility for himself As the responsibility for a family that so oppresses many husbands and from which they flee, then replaced by the dramatically increased responsibility for oneself. A man has no one with whom to consult, no one tell, no one to support him in a complex or difficult moments. The most important function of the family - psychotherapy, and a mistress, even the most benevolent, this function to take can not. So that two-thirds of divorced three years after the divorce, consider their "former" is more deserving than a new wife or steady girlfriend. Study "syndrome seventeen months," revealed that at this time, most divorcees are thinking about returning to the family or creating a new - they are ready to escape from the long-awaited freedom. So, to sum up. The first recommendation - to former wives. Do not take care of her husband, the disintegration of the couple as something final and irrevocable, which would be about it or talking ex-husband. Chasing them is not necessary, saying: "You are with me still come back!" - Also should not be, it only strengthens resistance. But keep the door open, to maintain friendly relations a must. At a time when he was "ripe" for return, we can think about it. According to statistics, in the large cities of Russia, one in four newly divorced to marry former wife, and one in three would like to do it. The second recommendation - mistresses divorced. You need to first of all, patience. You with it well together, and you absolutely do not understand why he refuses to live together, why is satisfied with the meetings two or three times a week.